It’s like, you know when you’ve set yourself up for a ‘Nanna Nap’, not any old nap, but a strictly-18-minutes-only-snooze. You set your alarm for the precise amount of time, and as you slowly allow yourself to drift into a heavenly slumber, you start thinking about everything you have to do as soon as the alarm goes off.
You start to panic wondering if you should just pack it in and ditch the nap altogether, but no, “I deserve and NEED this nap” you tell yourself. But before you commit, you look back at the clock once more, “Alrighty,15 minutes to go, I’ve got this!”
And then the little devil inside chirps up again:
“Hmm is it snack time yet?”
“Surely it’s snack time, hmm, I’m hungry.”
“What will I have for a snack?”
“I think we still have some Pad Thai left, tat will be yum.”
“Lol what am I thinking, I’m trying to be healthy. I saw some bananas, definitely a smoothie.”
“Smoothies, yum! Good idea Shee! I wonder what else I could put in this magical smoothie.”
“Ugh STOP thinking about your damn smoothie, NAP! You have like only 14 minutes left now.”
“Ok so let’s get this straight, as soon as the alarm goes off, I’m going to sort out this, call her, text him about that, clean this, wash that, the list goes on to the tune of “My head is a Jungle”.
“Ok, one last look at my phone for the time before I 100% promise to nap.”
“2 minutes left, What? Seriously? Noooo!!”
The above example is 100% accurate in my world, and following the whole one-sided dialogue, I am always malnourished of the miniscule 18 minute doze I so desperately needed, I often opt instead for a huge cup of coffee, with a side of guilt for
- Spending almost a quarter of an hour thinking about a damn smoothie I now don’t even want.
- Spending 18 minutes being completely useless, and most of all,
- Not having the nap I promised myself.
So I bargained a simple nap, a slice of solitude and relaxation for just a moment, but instead, I polluted every last second of it.
And looking back, I’m a classic for polluting the good by not being totally there, for being less than present and not completely embracing whatever ‘it’ is.
It’s the ultimate sabotage, the purest form of self-betrayal and one, which is way too common today. In an effort to reduce this epidemic, i’ve come up with some simple solutions to some of life’s most pressing issues, hear me out:
You want an ice cream? Then go bloody get it, and grab a double scoop in a waffle cone while you’re at it. And annoy the ice-cream girl with asking for at least 5 samples. This is your time to shine, don’t hold back!
You want to go to the beach? I don’t care that you are in a mode of self-imprisonment due to a forthcoming exam tomorrow – tomorrow is going to come whether you got to the beach or not, so why not just go.
You want to move out? Do it! Sure Mum will be sad, but she’ll still be able to show you love in the form of sending 2000 “are you alive” texts a day. Plus you’ll be home every Tuesday for Spaghetti anyway.
Moral of the story: do what you want – only if you do it with a twist: BE THERE.
Actually show up mentally, physically and emotionally.
Embrace your salted caramel gelato with every delicate lick, squeeze the sand between your toes with extra vigor and splash around in the ocean because you can. But most importantly, do not be afraid of making the decisions that seemed so huge and adulterated when you were young – because you are older now, and it is time.
So in the words of my favourite Real Housewife, Jackie Gillies:
Shine Shine Shine!