Why I’ll never be able to run the world: A Tribute.

Image via Pinterest.

Image via Pinterest.

You know what, the world isn’t fair.

Waiters take your order wrong and serve you orange juice when you specifically asked for carrot, apple and ginger, and Clinique Beauty Experts will sell you over-priced oily-skin moisturizer when you clearly explained your face is combination.

People let you down, others forget about you, you forget about someone else, and the selfish person gets what you deserve. It all seems so worthy of being negative and upset over.

It’s insane how comfortable we are in our drama blanket, but how many of us have actually ever felt the cold, the real cold?

Does anyone truly grasp the reality that good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to those totally undeserving of pain and sadness? It’s haunting to comprehend that no matter what we focus on, strive towards, want, desire and pray for; sometimes there is a pre-written story which is totally and utterly set in stone – unchangeable by any amount of tears and wishes for it not to be.

How totally thwarting, humbling, and terrifyingly insightful it is, when we finally appreciate that there are actually real things to be upset about – like losing someone you love, forever.

I’ll never be able to understand why life and this world hands out what it does, and it scares me a little to think that no matter how positively a life is led, there is no guarantee of constant sunshine and happy days. So life is a gamble. Every damn day there are a million things that could go perfectly right or gravely wrong. A smile you could see, or a fight you could encounter. A turn for the better, or a turn for the absolute worse.

And for once, I don’t have an answer for any of it. I’m speechless.

Because as much as I want to believe I can run the world, I’m humbly reminded that reality is untouchable – and it doesn’t care how broken it leaves your heart. For that, I am sorry. I am sorry because the only thing I can come up with, is that in those moments of utterly mind-numbing pain, the only thing left to do is to somehow piece together that shattered glass inside your chest, and love.

Love that before the tears there were so many smiles your cheeks burned from. That before the incessant wails and screams for things to be different, there was laughter that hurt just as hard. That one day, maybe not in a week, month or year, but one day – everything will stop aching, even if just a teeny bit less.

Each day, hour and minute, someone’s world is turning upside down for better or worse, and if you’re reading this, you have to appreciate that for right now, while I’ve got you for just a second you’re mine and safe.

So when you finish reading this, I’d like to ask you to stop. Stop, look up, close your eyes and smile.

Smile because in this moment, everything is perfect, you are healthy, you have people you love around you, and although you have no real clue as to what today or tomorrow will hold, for now you all you have to do is breathe. But I ask you to smile for those who don’t have it in them to the same in this second, and share the beat of your heart with others who will never be able to return it. Smile because although pain and loss is paralyzing, you have the ability to love harder than ever.

For a second, I dare you to take off your blanket and step into the snow – it’s cold out there, but summer will always come.

To two great men: thank-you for being you, the legendary fathers my best friends love and adore.

To my girls who lost them, thank-you for being an example of strength I look up to everyday.

To everyone else this Christmas,  hug your annoying cousin a little tighter than usual, and laugh at every single one of your uncle’s bad jokes. Love, appreciate and treasure this special time with the people who love you.

Merry Christmas.

Love, S.

Life Lessons from Biggie Smalls.

Notorious B.I.G.

Notorious B.I.G.

Minimalism. I could start and end this entire post with that one word. Now I know exam-time is the usual antithesis for uncovering many of life’s mysteries, I mean, let’s not be ashamed of mastering choux pastry all in the name of procrasti-baking. But honestly, on my hunt to find ways of distracting myself from memorising all of Spanish’s three past tenses, I am learning a whole lot more than the difference between singular and plural conjugations.

I am realising how badly I want to uncomplicate my life.

Call it a cull, call it a quarter life crisis, call it me being totally warped and mildly insane, or take it from me, and call it nothing but a change.

I can’t blame these epiphanies merely on pending exams, because I think a lot of my musing is borne from the fast approaching departure date of my latest, trip of a lifetime. It seems that in every lead up to this type of adventure, I really begin to question well, everything.

What am I going to learn?

Who am I going to meet?

What am I going to see?

Where am I going to be?

How am I going to feel?

What song will be the soundtrack to this journey?

Will I change? Will I be different?

Will home be different when I get back?

Do I even want anything to be different?

Am I even ready to do this, to bail all over again on comfort in order for something so totally foreign that I can’t really even pronounce it with my lips let alone my feelings?

I soon get pretty caught up in all these questions, trying to answer them with yet another three issues, which have become illuminated by the initial query.

But as I try to take it slow, attempt to calm myself and focus on the present – because that’s all we really have, I realize that again, I have supremely complicated everything.

And so this minimalist thing pops up once more. It could be a phase, or it could be a turning point: a pre-emptive change into the person I will be when I begin to legitimately grow-up. I’m not sure who she is, what she looks like, or if she will have ultimately experienced that growth spurt I am currently still waiting on, but right now, I know she wants simplicity.

As I look back now on the past 6 months  – which from my mum’s standards has seen me be ‘way too busy’ for my own good, and from my grandmother’s perspective, has inspired her to tell me to ‘slow down and take care of myself’ each time we converse over green teas – it seems that their wishes for me to tone it down a notch have officially rubbed off.

So beloved matriarchs, here it is. I’m toning it down.

I won’t take on 5 projects at once all because the opportunities exist, and I won’t say yes to being in three places at once simply because I drive a fast Jag with iPod connectivity to get me through the distance. I won’t sleep only 5 hours a night because there’s too much to do, and I won’t need to use an excel spreadsheet to organize my professional and social life. What I will do however is follow my heart over my head. If it excites, scares, intimidates and challenges me then YES! But I’m over wasting my time.

So in the name of Europe, South America and whichever other continent I decide to ambush in the next year, I’m ready to step up.

I am ready to focus, to work smarter not harder, to laugh louder, and smile wider than ever before. But there’s a catch. A little sentence that will lead me through it all, one offered by none other than Biggie himself:

“Stay far from timid. Only make moves when your heart’s in it and live the phrase: the sky’s the limit.”

If your heart is in ‘it’, it’s worth mentioning, and if it’s worth mentioning, capturing and writing down it’s important. Because honestly, what is important, is very important.

So bay-bee, what’s important to you? I’d love to know what gives you excited shivers. Get in touch!

Sheona xo.

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#100happydays ago…

Image via Instagram @thesheonaexperiment.

100 days ago I committed myself to the longest relationship I have ever had in my life to a hashtag. My delirious suitor being, #100happydays.  100 days ago, it seemed like a logical thing to do, I mean, I had … Continue reading

The Unapologetic Introduction.

Image by Demetria via We Heart It.

  My dad is simultaneously the biggest fan and blatant reviewer of my writing, and unfortunately I can’t help but mull, over every piece of advice he gives me. Being the most chilled father on the earth, I was absolutely … Continue reading

No, I love you more!

Happy Valentines Day!

Today is all about the love: spreading the love, feeling the love, giving the love, taking the love, eating the love (hey 3 course meal with heart shaped chocolates at the end), smelling the love (roses are red), seeing the love (so many hands to hold), and hearing the love (cue Dean martin, “That’s Amore”).

It’s at this particular time of year, that I start thinking about relationships, and not just the romantic type, but every kind that you have in your life. And it’s on this exact February day that my sisters and I forget to fight about who stole who’s mascara, that my friends and I swear that despite any boys, we will always be each others’ real soul mates, and that I am just strangely over generous and loving to really anyone I come into contact with.

It’s like someone has slipped love juice into my morning tea, and I am now magically in love with the entire world!

(Please note, that to further evidence this reality, I jet created a new Pinterest Board in honour of my love for words! If your interested, and also share this butterfly feeling for strings of consonants, check it out here. Mr. Bowman, I’m talking to you!)

But seriously, I am telling you, this Valentines thing really gets to me!

And what I begin to understand as I try to love everyone just a little more today, I realise that I am really just wanting to make them happy. For Mum, I will empty the dishwasher and make her a coffee before she comes down stairs after her shower; for my youngest sister, I will play a game of tennis with her when she gets back from school and for my friends, well,I will send them horribly unattractive snap chats of myself (You like that right? Girls? Awks.)

It totally comes back to this quote I read a while back – and I cannot find it on Pinterest, Google, Tumblr or Instagram, so maybe I made it up.

It went like this: “Relationships are not about you, they are about making the other person happier, because of you”.

I was/am/forever will be in love with this, and trumpet it’s truth: relationships with your family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, partner, lab partner, boss, teacher, dog, goldfish and teddy bear, ARE NEVER ABOUT YOU.

Like ever.

Ever ever.

It’s about them. About them being happier BECAUSE of YOU.

And because YOU make THEM HAPPY, they will LOVE you more anyway. Its a win-win situation!

So go love and make everyone you love happier. Go on, get!